On Boxing Day

Warning: Tediously self pitying content ahead

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I wrote this on Boxing Day:

(Fun Fact: Boxing Day was traditionally a day off for servants and the day when they received a ‘Christmas Box’ from the master. The servants would also go home on Boxing Day to give ‘Christmas Boxes’ to their families.)

I have given myself five years.  I am severely mentally ill, unemployable and thus, economically unproductive.  I am a useless eater. I am also childless and possible barren.  I have no life and I am terrified of the future.  Life is brutal and I am not equal to its challenges. (Note: I see this as my failure not the failure of life itself.)  The one and only human being who loved me for myself had departed from the planet.  I have decided that if I do not get a job, have a child and a meaningful relationship in the next half decade I will erase myself from this world.

If I were a mangy cat I would have been put to sleep long ago.

 

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