Warning: Tediously self pitying content ahead
I wrote this on Boxing Day:
(Fun Fact: Boxing Day was traditionally a day off for servants and the day when they received a ‘Christmas Box’ from the master. The servants would also go home on Boxing Day to give ‘Christmas Boxes’ to their families.)
I have given myself five years. I am severely mentally ill, unemployable and thus, economically unproductive. I am a useless eater. I am also childless and possible barren. I have no life and I am terrified of the future. Life is brutal and I am not equal to its challenges. (Note: I see this as my failure not the failure of life itself.) The one and only human being who loved me for myself had departed from the planet. I have decided that if I do not get a job, have a child and a meaningful relationship in the next half decade I will erase myself from this world.
If I were a mangy cat I would have been put to sleep long ago.