My adorable little niece: Amelia (After Amelia Earhart not ‘Amelia Jane: The Naughty Doll’.)
Posts Tagged ‘niece’
Now That’s What I Call a Proper Little Entrepreneur:
April 26, 2012Impossible Decisions
May 9, 2010From a selfish perspective the birth of my niece takes the pressure off me. I have always taken it for granted that I would have children. I am reconciled now to the fact that this will never happen. Some people are unsuited to parenthood and I am one of them. It’s not that I dislike children – far from it. I’ve worked as an au pair and was everybody’s favourite teenaged babysitter. Jobs I loved, jobs that fuelled the fantasy of one day getting married and having a family of my own. I did not know then that I would be diagnosed with a severe mental illness, that I would develop social phobias that prevent me from going out and meeting people. In the ‘Known Allergies’ section of the personal notes in my real life diary I have written ‘people’.
It’s a hard lessen to learn but I am not destined for motherhood. The world would be a better place if more people reached this conclusion. Not every biological need can be fulfilled. Not having children is a more painful sacrifice than choosing to have them. The state of childlessness required more maturity and courage than simply churning them out regardless of the kind of person you are. I need to be true to my conscience and that means denying myself children. It’s hard but that’s life. And I must deal with it
My Niece 2
May 8, 2010I shall be the best auntie ever.
Small, beautiful and perfectly formed. Last Saturday I got to hold my baby niece for the first time. She looks like a small China doll with porcelain skin and thick dark hair that frames her face so neatly that it looked as though it had been styled. Truthfully, I was a little nervous. She was so tiny, so delicate that I was afraid I might break her. ‘She’s tougher than she looks,’ said my brother’s partner.
I hope I will be a good aunt. The sort of aunt she can confide in. I’m afraid that I will forever be known as ‘my mad old aunt in Cambridge’ which is a fairly accurate description. Mother had told my brother that she resembled me and dragged out an old photo to prove it. Poor girl. I can’t wait until she is old enough for toys. I love shopping for children.