Posts Tagged ‘murder’

I Was Going To Switch Jobs But…

April 12, 2014

I saw a job advertisement that read ‘Political Assassins Wanted’, got all excited but then took this test.  And below are the results: ‘You’re too much of a goody-too-shoes to kill someone or even hurt a fly maybe….well swat a fly maybe but I highly doubt you’ll kill someone so have fun in your non-killing life enjoy it while it lasts Goody 2 shoes.’  Any other suggestions?

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Murder Victims, You Brought This Upon Yourselves

April 5, 2013

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‘but what goes without saying should surely go unsaid.’ Well, indeed, Doctor. Do you ever think of applying these sagacious words to yourself?

From: The Salisbury Review:

And, as always, his valiant acolytes leap to his defence:

And the attack dogs are unleashed:

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Well, that was like being savaged by a dead sheep.

Murder On the Farm

May 13, 2010

Every Saturday
The Farmer’s wife
Takes a trip to town
On that big, red bus
The Farmer called it
‘That scarlet monstrosity’
Watching his wife embrace
The vulgarities
Of city life
A world she once inhabited

She returns
But the stench
Of the urbane,
Of the metropolis
Clings to her
Like stale sweat
Like the cow dung
That welds itself to her boots
Nothing the farmer does
Is ever good enough

Frugality abandoned
Fragility exposed
The old farmer
Murdered his wife
With gun, with knife,
With strangulation,
With blood-tipped axe
Just to ensure
That he had really
Finished her off

And this bucolic landscape
Is threatened no more

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