A Day on an Eating Disorders Unit:
First page of an old novel
(Warning it’s pretty terrible but nonetheless…)
Images of the Edible
She was dreaming of food.
It was all that Gemma could dream about. It filled up most of the space in her head. Sleeping and waking, her mind was stuffed with images of the edible. Chips- hot and salty. Apples- cool and crisp, straight from the fridge. Corn flakes, covered in sugar and immersed in milk.
At every mealtime Gemma heard the footsteps of her fellow patients pounding past her door, heading for the dining room. They seemed to live for food. The dining room was one room Gemma was determined never to enter again.
They brought her a tray laden with food three times a day. Breakfast. Dinner. Supper. Every day. The food they brought her always remained uneaten. She didn’t even bother to remove the covers to see what culinary delights they had brought her. The aroma was enough.
She wanted it. But she could not have it. It was desirable but forbidden. It was poison. Sugar-coated cyanide.
Instead she was sustained by memories of epic binges.
Three times a day, every day, the nurses came to remove the tray with barely suppressed sighs of disappointment and looks that said, ‘Eat. It’s not so hard. Just pick up a fork. Spear a broccoli floret and raise it to your lips. Then chew and Swallow. Simple.’
But they didn’t know Gemma. They didn’t know that if she were to start eating again she would never stop. She felt like she could consume the entire world. She pictured herself as some obese God, grabbing planets and stuffing them into her mouth, their juices running down her chin. She felt as though she could have munched her way through the entire universe. But she still would not have been satisfied. Her appetite was insatiable.
So Sick of Drowning 