http://www.bonkersinstitute.org/seven.html
http://psychrights.org/States/Michigan/ClosingTheGap/Appendix%20I.pdf
Aftermath
Glorious Technicolor evaporates
And all is monochrome once again
In my world shades of grey collide
And all colour is banished
(In the dayroom
I press my cheek against
The cool window
The flowers beyond the glass
Are drained of colour too)
And I wonder
Before the medication,
Bursting through my brain and
Taking hold, like some bush fire
Did I really conjure up
Those sacred inner visions
That appeared to me
With so much clarity
All by myself?
My identity has been stripped away
Where am I now?
Are my tears contained
In some sealed vessel in my head?
Where has my inner kaleidoscope gone?
The one that whirled though my mind
The one that dazzled me
When I was an internal traveller
Through the long corridors inside me
Why am I so tightly curled?
Why am I not whirling
In the middle of the dance floor
In that pale cream castle in my head?
I no longer have access to
The coloured box
That contained my dreams
Someone has stolen that
From my inner kingdom too
I was once an angel
Who could soar
Through the sky
But no one sees that now
Instead they see a girl
In a hospital bed
With slit wrists
And junked out eyes
Forcibly caricatured
I am now a sorrowful angel
An angel of blood and dust
I have lost control
And there is a revolution
Raging in my head
The real me is gone
Trapped in a memory cloud
Deep inside my mind
Those voices that populate
My inner cities
The Youths on the streets
Once intrepid and wise,
Now unemployed, homeless,
Chanting down world leaders
They have consigned
Loving Gestures
To forgotten halls
Where my heart
Used to beat
They pump more magic potions
Into me. And the magic bullet
Roars to the centre of my soul
Where my dreams are cultivated.
When did it all begin? When I went crazy for the first time? Or when I decided to stop resisting? When I decided to absorb and implement all the advice the medical profession had to offer?
They made me take their poison. They made me take a drug that is no longer in widespread use: Chlorpromazine (aka: largactil and, in the good old US of A Thorazine) I was made to endure the humiliation of being forcibly medicated. They drag you to your bedspace and close the curtains. Then they push you down onto your bed and four nurses hold you down. One of them kneels on your shoulders. They press you down into the bed. They lift your skirt and then you feel the needle go in and chemicals mingle with blood. An alien substance courses through your veins and there is nothing you can do to stop it. You are in a room on your own. As soon as the nurses have done their work they leave.
No one remains with you to help you make sense of what just happened.