Posts Tagged ‘alienation’

The Ageing Process

January 6, 2016

It’s a terrible thing to behold!

Photo on 21-11-2015 at 20.38


March 1, 2014

blackbirds This False Dawn:

A warrior in a non existent war
Afraid to sleep, afraid to wake
In the world but not of it.
I am the edge of darkness
inter-dimensional interference
Wouldn’t some say it was the work of Satan?
Up at dawn I embrace the bright morning
And I don The Mask Of Sanity

And enter the belly of the beast
And on the tube I read about
The latest greatest media orchestrated witch hunt
Which in the end will drive
us all Into the arms of revolutionaries.
because that is a measure of your worth, they say
Someone had done a terrible, terrible thing
manipulated idealism, orchestrated misery

They isolate it from the grand sweep of history.
And their shrunken world is divided
Into the victors and the vanquished
This was once echoed in my own worldview
I do not think this anymore
They have never loved me
And they never will
But I no longer crave the approval
Of the world. It is not a prize worth fighting for

I do not know why I am here
But I did not give myself life
so I have no right to take it away.
Our duty is to hold the line and in comes the cavalry.  
you’re a bit late. Too many moving targets to be eliminated
I do not view the world through
a simplistic paradigm left over from the French revolution.
A symptoms of an enfeebled society.

It takes courage to live, not to die
Love, money, popularity
Mean nothing to me
I am unworldly And always will be I
know this now And I embrace it
Fully and without Resentment


December 4, 2013


I am restricting my contact with my fellow human beings to brief, and occasionally hostile exchanges on the internet.

A while ago a certain back bench Tory politician raised the issue of Twitter on her blog.  I think they call it Twittergate and if they don’t then they should.  She asked what at the time must have seemed like a perfectly valid question except that she did this in overtly hostile tones.  She wondered whether people who incessantly use Twitter – people with disabilities – should be out there seeking employment because their twittering habit clearly indicated that at the very least they were computer literate. There was a nugget of reasoned debate in the the future (mixed in) that followed this.  Some regular tweeters argued that for them twitter was a lifeline, sometimes it was their only connection to the outside world.  And this, they said, could only be a ‘good thing’.  I’m sure that may be true for some people, perhaps even many people, this may be true.  But there are those of us who haven’t really been helped by the expansion of online social networking.  Those of us who were isolated in the first place.  In some cases it may exacerbate their condition, especially if they have issues with social anxiety at the outset.  For there really is no substitute for real live flesh and blood companionship.  The internet is a poor substitute for that.


Tear the Toxin Out

October 21, 2010

They tried to tear his toxin out
With bone chisel and with scalpel
They called it a lobotomy
Their aim, they claim
Was to banish those malevolent
Voices from his brain
But the truth is that some remained

And undeniably desensitised
He lives here still
He is the neighbourhood freak
Contemplating the radiance
Of newly ripened corn
Hunched over in his sheepskin coat
Drinking wine on the village green

Where children hurl stones at him
And the old goat turns
Spills over into rage;
Into illuminated fury; they scatter.
He pursues them, mayhem-disgorged
They outrun him, leaving him
Dazed, bewildered, quivering

The Drugs Don’t Work

September 30, 2010

I am lost. I am pushing everyone away. My family are distancing themselves from me and I don’t blame them. I feel like there’s nothing tethering me to the world. I cannot relate to others. It’s like I’m imprisoned in a huge invisible glass jar. `it is soundproof and impenetrable. I can see people and I scream out to them but they can’t hear me. Or maybe they pretend not to hear. I don’t blame them for that either. For my birthday I went out for dinner with relatives, including my brother and my niece, but I’ve never felt so alone in my life. It was as though I didn’t even belong on the planet, as though I was not fit to be among ordinary, decent human beings. I have a baby niece who I am reluctant to hold or cuddle because I am terrified that I might contaminate her. I can only think in fragments:

and I will sleep
the deepest sleep of all
and they will remain
undisturbed by my fall

and the waters
they are shark infested
and I have nothing invested
In the world beyond these shores

See? Don’t expect coherence here. And, as the song says, ‘Now the drugs don’t work. They just make you worse.’ Maybe it’s different this time. Maybe there really is such a thing as terminal mental illness.


October 12, 2009



We dwelt in small stone cottages

That face an inclined pebble beach

And the sea hisses so seductively

A view cherished by the stranger

In our midst.  A traveller.  From the city

We are suspicious of outsiders here

We saw him race across the beach

Tottering, spiralling towards paradise

He did not know about that rogue current

And we had not troubled ourselves

to tell him.  He was not one of us, you see

And now it seems that he never will be

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