Is It Christmas Yet? Let’s Have a Celebratory Tequila.

Courtesy of  Voodoo Pad

And Pixelmator

Time marches on.  Relentlessly.  Preparing myself for the joys of Christmas shopping.  Last minute burst of energy.  The world feels unwieldy.  I feel large and ungainly.  And I am growing too big for the world.  I am a big, clumsy rag doll.  I do not think I will cope well with the ravages of old age.  When my grandmother was my age she began to disintegrate.  Her hair fell out, her teeth fell out, her system failed bit by bit like an old used car.  And she was always so stoical.  I never heard her complain.  I never saw her eat although she was bordering on the obese.  I am afraid that this is happening to me..  I’m falling apart, bit by bit.  How can I halt my own inevitable, relentless, terminal decline.  This is what I am facing and I must confess that I am paralysed by terror.  I want to climb into my bed, pull the covers up over my head and never resurface.

Christmas and I am fatter than ever.  I once when I was very young and immature said that I would rather take my own life than be fat.

And we were all like that at one time in our lives whether we admit it or not.

The temperature plummeted.  I, rather foolishly, went walking in the rain.  I didn’t notice how wet I was until I came indoors.  I brace myself against the weather.  Unlike everyone else, for me, winter has its charms.

My mind is offline.  One thing I am terrified of is dementia.  Early onset.  It casts a permanent shadow over my life ever since my new consultant psychiatrist mentioned clear cognitive impairment in her assessment letter.

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16 Responses to “Is It Christmas Yet? Let’s Have a Celebratory Tequila.”

  1. David Duff Says:

    Swimming! That’s the answer, he cried with all the conviction of the true fanatic. Half an hour a day, five days a week. As a confirmed wimp I can tell you that it is the only exercise which doesn’t hurt. Take your toiletries with you and when you come out have a nice hot shower, wash your hair, use their hair drier, apply the ‘war paint’, swig a cup of coffee and you will go home feeling and looking like a million dollars! (And gradually, if you eat right, you will watch the weight fall off.)


  2. Damo Says:

    I lost weight by giving up sugar for my tea. Excercise whenever possible,don’t take the lift or escalator, use the stairs instead. Walk or cycle whenever possible. Take the longer route to shops or friends’ houses and substitute junk food with more healthier options like fruit.


  3. Emily Murdoch Says:

    I raise my glass to you and your readers. Cheers!


  4. Beatrice Says:

    Tequila Slammer: perfect for Christmas morning after you have unwrapped all your gifts. Mouth’s watering just thinking about it.


  5. Tierney Says:

    Your lucidity is refreshing and unusual.


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  7. Marie Antionette Says:

    Hope Santa brings you everything you’ve ever wished for.


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