No Man is an Island

I am so afraid.  It’s only going to get worse, isn’t it? I can feel myself slipping away.  I dreamt that I was drowning.  Someone held out their hand but when I grasped it they wrenched it away and I was sucked back into the water. Not all mental illness is treatable.  They should stop pretending it is. It gives people false hope. Please someone make it stop.  I am terrified but I have no reason to be. Where is it coming from?  This world is not my home. The voice in my head tells me that I am an abomination. I can see why you would want to believe that I brought this upon myself.  I think it’s only going to get worse. But you cannot commit suicide without grievously wounding other people.  As Donne said ‘No man is an island entire of itself’ although God knows I’ve tried to be.

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6 Responses to “No Man is an Island”

  1. sanabituranima Says:

    *hugs* Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you.

    Like

  2. warriet Says:

    “No man is an island entire of itself; every man
    is a piece of the continent, a part of the main;
    if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe
    is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as
    well as a manor of thy friends or of thine
    own were; any man’s death diminishes me,
    because I am involved in mankind.
    And therefore never send to know for whom
    the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”

    Even at my darkest moments, Donne’s words reminded me that I was never alone, however disconnected I felt

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  3. destroythequeen Says:

    I know exactly how you feel dear.
    And unfortunately, I am yet to find a way out.
    If I do, I’ll be sure to let you know.

    Like

  4. Pandora Says:

    I wish I had something useful to say. For what it’s worth, and despite how platitudinous it sounds, I’m sorry. Fuck mentalism 😦

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  5. Monika Says:

    I also have schizoaffective disorder. You are a beautiful image of God. Reading this might help: http://penitents.org/mentalillness.htm. I saw your other post about your “inner Catholic.” I’m a Catholic too. Trust in God’s providence, day by day. He loves you and made you and made you for Himself.

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  6. eczemandepression Says:

    There’s so much I wish I could say to you but none of it would make any difference to how you feel. Just find things to keep you busy and if you can, someone to talk to. Hope youre ok 😦

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