The Body Betrayed

I wonder which way round it was: did I betray my body or did my body betray me?  Have years of abusing my body, be it bingeing, purging, starving and occasionally (very occasionally) over-exercising ruined me beyond repair.  That’s the hardest thing to deal with: that I did all this to myself.  And that I’ve left it too late to do anything about it.  I took a fully functioning body and tried to destroy it.  That’s sick, stupid and selfish.  And now the body I’ve systematically abused for nearly the whole of my adult life is having its long, slow, excruciating revenge.  Sometimes I think I am useful only as a cautionary tale.

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2 Responses to “The Body Betrayed”

  1. David Says:

    I read this a combination of sorrow for you and survivor’s guilt for me: the decades of self-abuse in the form of madness, drugs and alcohol have so far only cost me most of my teeth. Yes yours is a salutary tale but also serves as a reminder/wake-up call to look after myself for ever long I have left.

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  2. Jenny M Says:

    have you ever tried yoga before? It’s gentle and gives you a real boost. It’s great for improving self esteem and overall quality of life.

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