When I’ve been in hospital I’ve encountered men and women who, frankly, should have been firmly ensconced in prison.
The last time I was in there was this guy wandering all over the ward yelling that he was ‘gonna hurt someone’ if he didn’t get his ‘Lorazies’. It was the sheer number of nurses who seemed to have nothing better to do that to run around after him that got to me. It was as though they were in competition with one another to see who they could get him to ‘warm to’ first. ‘I- Nurse A am really great at interacting with Mr Psycho Patient (No apologies made for that), whereas as she – Nurse B- can’t interact with him at all. In fact she seems to be a little afraid of him. This means that I – Nurse A – really am the superior nurse.’
Later I sat with him in the exercise yard and said: ‘Funny how you’ve got all those nurses running around after you, isn’t it?’
Response: ‘Yeah, good, innit?’ a la ‘it’s a fair cop, guv.’