I have never self-injured, not in the conventional sense anyway. I have never dragged a razor across my skin. I have never burnt myself with cigarettes. I have, however, harmed myself in ways not recognised medically as self harm. Ways that do not require tools. I have starved myself to the brink of passing out. I deprived my body of the nutrients it required to stay alive. I would psychologically self harm in every way possible. I remember sitting in front of the mirror hurling obscenities at myself. I’ll never get those lost hours back. I should have appreciated what I had while I had it. That’s one of my biggest regrets: that I had been given a gift and I have wasted it.
Tags: eating disorders, psychology, self harm
So Sick of Drowning 
February 13, 2010 at 6:41 pm
None of us can recover the past. Whatever Mrs Carr has, or you or I have, done or not done is gone … forever. Whatever anyone has done or not done has gone forever.
Appreciate what you have now. You may think it very little but appreciate it anyway.
Even in my world where my suffering has been mild I find it hard to appreciate myself or aspects of me but they are there .. sometimes .. somewhere. No! They’re around always but I can’t always see them.
May you have better sight than I.
Take care
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February 14, 2010 at 8:42 pm
Totally get this. I say I have never self-harmed but its not true! I have as you said done things that leave no mark. Thanks for sharing!
http://peeksout.blogspot.com/
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February 22, 2010 at 6:31 am
I can definitely relate to your post. I know so many people who struggle everyday from an eating disorder. I think the first step is recognition. I’ve found Silver Hill Hospital to be a really good source of information about treatment options including adolescent residential programs.
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March 25, 2010 at 11:18 pm
[…] Sick of Drowning points out that there’s more than one way to self-harm. I have never self-injured, not in the conventional sense anyway. I have never […]
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