No Man’s Land

am about to sound self pitying and self obsessed. *so be it*.

I want to disappear. I want to curl up in a ball in some dark cubby hole and remain there for the rest of my life. In my nightmares I am tried, convicted by some celestial court, and sentenced to death.

For all my secret crimes. I don’t belong here – on the planet. I never have.

And the fear it is real. as real as I am. and my thoughts: they are corrupt and incoherent. i am lost. i am irretrievable – standing on no man’s land between life and death and paralysed by fear and indecision.

Somebody help me.

Hold your breath, close your eyes and jump.  But I am so lazy I cannot tear myself away from the binge-purge circle

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One Response to “No Man’s Land”

  1. The Enigmatic One Says:

    am going to be brief and condescending – you’ll probably dismiss this but you must stop doing this. my sister a sufferer for years was diagnosed a few weeks ago with cancer of the esophagus. Years of purging. I’m sorry but the I only feel are anger and pity.

    The Enigmatic One

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