Archive for April 2nd, 2005

Peter (ex chav)

April 2, 2005

peter (ex chav)
Originally uploaded by louisemills.

My brother many years ago. He now has a Comp Sci degree and is a web developer. Such a no hoper :rollseyes:

Decorative Doll

April 2, 2005

Dressed in heavy sweaters
Dressed for the cold
I stand still – a decorative doll
You drape yourself around my shoulders
The answers lie in your hands

You will not relinquish me
You pledge your sincerity
You vow to cherish and defend me
From ghosts and from trolls
How can I leave? How can I escape?

I invoke an hypnotic incantation
A magical potion, a magical notion
I petition the Gods as your arms
Become ever more tightly wrapped around me
Then they fall away suddenly

As I kick back, I hit back
And now my protector
Turned predator becomes
A part of the swirling dust
At ground level and I smile
And say ‘Good riddance.’

Playing Catch Up II

April 2, 2005

Back to the events of last week. In bite-sized pieces because my screwed-up concentration span can’t cope with much more. I was supposed to go to Lisa’s on Tuesday to look at her computer because, according to her, it is ‘poorly’. Don’t anthropomorphise computers – they hate it! How many times have you heard that before? But she read about the fire in the local paper and came over to visit me instead. She took me out to dinner at The Globe. We had a little argument – about theology, as usual. But we made it up. As she left my flat we saw Andy approaching. She ushered me back inside. ‘Why did you do that?’ I asked. ‘I’m not going to let that man dictate when I can walk down my own steps.’

‘I don’t particularly want to see him,’ she said.

On Wednesday my mother rang. Apparently my father is dying. Well, he is and he isn’t. He has an aneurism in his aorta and a shadow on his lung. It sounds almost poetic. ‘I’m worried about him.’

Huh? Is this the same woman who spent my entire childhood bemoaning his very existence, condemning him for being an alcoholic bastard and wishing death upon him so she could collect the insurance money.

I pointed this out to her and she called me heartless.

‘Pot, kettle, black,’ was my ‘heartless’ response.

More later…

I’m Doomed

April 2, 2005

Originally uploaded by rielouise.

Yet more evidence of my ‘inner chav’ – a Pooh Pencil case…a tool of Satan, designed to hold…well…pencils.

New Born (Concluded)

April 2, 2005

New Born II


In the midst of May you came
We were as one, seeking the sun
Awaiting the cock’s crow, the streams flow
Over bristling, frosty land. Milky clouds
Over still and silent cattle, glory-bound
Before the daylight becomes faded, jaded
Across a calm sea, a quiescent ocean

Your tears- each droplet – glistening gold
You emit guttural but glorious sounds
I elevate you to my lips to drink
That surge of emotion. I am at one
Within and without, the heart and the flesh
For this is an ocean born to be
To be in perpetual motion

I whisper worthy words
Into your ear. I command
You yield. I caress
You seek sensation
More than meaning, retreating
Rhetoric. You are mortal, alive
Not battery-operated. No need to wind

Your clear eye, a cloudless sky
A wholly exquisite fact
But it still does not satify
I need to fill it, to replenish it
With brilliance. I contemplate
The spring snowfall, the prospect
Of a monarch’s crown, of future renown

A land in which idols
Are exalted and illustrious
This should be my inner landscape
Not these distraught,
Dark and troubled thoughts
My desecrated domain invades
Devoid of dreams

Playing Catch Up

April 2, 2005

It seems I am playing Catch Up once again. Yes, Sunday was a fine evening to round off a apocalyptic weekend but unfortunately, Monday came around again. The fire made the local paper. I rang mother up to tell her about it. She expressed sympathy for my (hopefully former) neighbour. Oh, mother, if only you had been that sympathetic towards me when I was ill. Kind of topsy-turvey. You can muster up sympathy for a complete stranger but none for your own daughter. There were calls to make – to the insurance company etc. One of my computers and my mini-disc player is completely screwed. And the books I had just purchased from Amazon have lost their new and shiny look although I doubt I shall be reimbursed for them as there is a £50 excess charge.

There are some things that simply cannot be insured.

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